Positive, Negatives, Emotions and Logic....and Bikkies :)

Ahhh! I can do this! Consistency! Positivity! Come on! You got this gurl! I hope you're all ready for a long post, so grab a cup of tea, some bikkies and a comfy sitting position! :)

I know I have not been at ALLLL consistent in posting on a weekly basis and unfortunately I have let things and emotions get in the way of me actually making ANY progress with my goals which is why I moved half way across the world and left my friends and family and my Cat (Yes my cat is very special to me and I have missed her a lot of late :'( ) However, I have realised something in the past day or two which I believe will help me on my way to my goals! My short term and long term ones.

So many things have been happening in my life lately that I have let have a negative impact on me. However I recently read what a friend wrote about positives and negatives and realised, like really understood, that I have been going about life the wrong way. I have been letting the negatives take over the positives. Its not something I haven't been told before, its not something I haven’t tried to do before, but the way said friend wrote about it and explained it made me actually understand it. When it all comes down to it there are positives and negatives and if we dwell on the negatives we forget the positives so why not just focus on the positives as much as we can? There are always positives you just have to get creative in finding them or make them yourself and then focus on them. 

*Gasp* So many "positives" and "negatives" in this post, I think I need a thesaurus!

Everyone everywhere has low moments in their life, its unavoidable. If we didn't have lows then how would we know that we had highs. A lot of the time we focus on the bad things because they are easy. "This person made me feel this way", "This failed because of something other than me", "Its too hard/difficult/boring/tedious". Tough bikkies I've started saying to myself! Tough bikkies! (haha such a strange saying, but it works!) I have found that it is easy to slip into the easy way of blaming someone else or something else because you made a mistake or have chosen to dwell on a bad feeling. We all do that and it is fine....for a little while. But I have found that it does not do well to focus on these things for too long because these thoughts inevitably leads to spiral which only causes you more frustration/anger etc making it harder to get back to the happier things in life. 

Reading what my friend wrote I realised that I can take these situations catch my thoughts and find the good in the situations. What opportunities can I see now that this door is closed, have any others potentially opened up? Can I learn from this and apply it to other things in my life? Can I become a stronger person emotionally or physically because of this? If I can learn to manage my emotions and how I react towards other people and scenarios then I believe I can have a more happy and fulfilling life. I do not mean to put a blanket ban on negative emotions, but just allowing myself to acknowledge that certain situations make me feel a certain way and to not make any rash decisions while I’m feeling this heightened emotion. That way I can gather my thoughts and come up with more sound approach to the situation and respond logically and respectfully rather than emotionally.

It does take some mind training to start with to realise and catch yourself in these emotions, then to talk yourself out of reacting emotionally. Really have conversations with yourself (you probably think I'm crazy here haha but oh well :) However, if you can catch yourself in the moment thinking “It’s too hard, I don't want to do it, I can't do it" talk back to yourself, challenge yourself. Ask "well why is it hard to do? Am I just being lazy, if so (Insert fav saying along the lines of "Tough Bikkies"), a lot of things in life are hard and I can be proud of myself for not giving up." If there is something getting in your way how can you remove that? Then you can be proud that you worked through the problem rather than give up! J

For me, sometimes getting through a particular work shift I am proud of because my inner me is just saying walk out, leave, its too difficult, the customers are too irritating or horrible or difficult. However I stop myself and say, no. you have to do this, you will let others down, you will let yourself down and by getting through this shift without giving up or being rude to that lady who is telling you how to do your job you are allowed to be proud of yourself. And I am :) It’s only a small thing but I can be proud of it. 

The same can be said for if someone "makes you feel a certain way".  We all have natural reactions to other people’s actions which can cause us to become emotional. The important thing is to feel these things but try not to react emotionally on them, from experience it usually ends up worsening the situation. Usually. I find in these scenarios that talking to myself about why I feel this way helps. "I am really frustrated by what this person has said/done, I can't believe they did that, I would not have done that, I wish I could just say/do this back, but I know if I do I will be disappointed or I may regret my actions/words." Distract yourself just long enough to once again gather yourself and then react logically and thoughtfully rather than emotionally. Once again the positive is showing yourself how you can handle things well, being proud of yourself! 

Having said all of this, distinguishing between emotional reactions and thoughtful/logical reactions can be difficult to start with, I am still learning that myself, however I think I now understand the principal and will be able to see it a lot more in myself than I did before and subsequently be able to have better relationships with others as well as myself.

Ah so how are we all doing? Got a bit deep there I know, I'm terribly sorry if you got bored but hey, you made it to here, so can't have been too bad :) I hope my 3am ramble has given you something to take away if not the fact that I can write more than 200 words on a blog post! 

I am going to focus on more positives in the future and I am going to re-evaluate my goals, long term and short term. I think you can expect a post on these in the next day or two but for now.... I'm off to sleep!! 

Goodnight lovelies! Stay positive :) Xx