Ahhh! I can do this! Consistency!
Positivity! Come on! You got this gurl! I hope you're all ready for a long
post, so grab a cup of tea, some bikkies and a comfy sitting position! :)
I know I have not been at
ALLLL consistent in posting on a weekly basis and unfortunately I have let
things and emotions get in the way of me actually making ANY progress with my
goals which is why I moved half way across the world and left my friends and
family and my Cat (Yes my cat is very special to me and I have missed her a lot
of late :'( ) However, I have realised something in the past day or two which I
believe will help me on my way to my goals! My short term and long term ones.
So many things have been
happening in my life lately that I have let have a negative impact on me.
However I recently read what a friend wrote about positives and negatives and
realised, like really understood, that I have been going about life the wrong
way. I have been letting the negatives take over the positives. Its not
something I haven't been told before, its not something I haven’t tried to do
before, but the way said friend wrote about it and explained it made me
actually understand it. When it all comes down to it there are positives and
negatives and if we dwell on the negatives we forget the positives so why not
just focus on the positives as much as we can? There are always positives you
just have to get creative in finding them or make them yourself and then focus
on them.
*Gasp* So many
"positives" and "negatives" in this post, I think I need a
thesaurus!
Everyone everywhere has low
moments in their life, its unavoidable. If we didn't have lows then how would
we know that we had highs. A lot of the time we focus on the bad things because
they are easy. "This person made me feel this way", "This failed
because of something other than me", "Its too
hard/difficult/boring/tedious". Tough bikkies I've started saying to
myself! Tough bikkies! (haha such a strange saying, but it works!) I have found
that it is easy to slip into the easy way of blaming someone else or something
else because you made a mistake or have chosen to dwell on a bad feeling. We
all do that and it is fine....for a little while. But I have found that it does
not do well to focus on these things for too long because these thoughts
inevitably leads to spiral which only causes you more frustration/anger etc
making it harder to get back to the happier things in life.
Reading what my friend
wrote I realised that I can take these situations catch my thoughts and find the
good in the situations. What opportunities can I see now that this door is
closed, have any others potentially opened up? Can I learn from this and apply
it to other things in my life? Can I become a stronger person emotionally or
physically because of this? If I can learn to manage my emotions and how I
react towards other people and scenarios then I believe I can have a more happy
and fulfilling life. I do not mean to put a blanket ban on negative emotions,
but just allowing myself to acknowledge that certain situations make me feel a
certain way and to not make any rash decisions while I’m feeling this
heightened emotion. That way I can gather my thoughts and come up with more
sound approach to the situation and respond logically and respectfully rather
than emotionally.
It does take some mind
training to start with to realise and catch yourself in these emotions, then to
talk yourself out of reacting emotionally. Really have conversations with
yourself (you probably think I'm crazy here haha but oh well :) However, if you
can catch yourself in the moment thinking “It’s too hard, I don't want to do
it, I can't do it" talk back to yourself, challenge yourself. Ask
"well why is it hard to do? Am I just being lazy, if so (Insert fav saying
along the lines of "Tough Bikkies"), a lot of things in life are hard
and I can be proud of myself for not giving up." If there is something
getting in your way how can you remove that? Then you can be proud that you
worked through the problem rather than give up! J
For me, sometimes getting
through a particular work shift I am proud of because my inner me is just
saying walk out, leave, its too difficult, the customers are too irritating or
horrible or difficult. However I stop myself and say, no. you have to do this, you
will let others down, you will let yourself down and by getting through this
shift without giving up or being rude to that lady who is telling you how to do
your job you are allowed to be proud of yourself. And I am :) It’s only a small
thing but I can be proud of it.
The same can be said for if
someone "makes you feel a certain way". We all have natural
reactions to other people’s actions which can cause us to become emotional. The
important thing is to feel these things but try not to react emotionally on
them, from experience it usually ends up worsening the situation. Usually. I
find in these scenarios that talking to myself about why I feel this way helps.
"I am really frustrated by what this person has said/done, I can't believe
they did that, I would not have done that, I wish I could just say/do this
back, but I know if I do I will be disappointed or I may regret my
actions/words." Distract yourself just long enough to once again gather
yourself and then react logically and thoughtfully rather than emotionally.
Once again the positive is showing yourself how you can handle things well,
being proud of yourself!
Having said all of this,
distinguishing between emotional reactions and thoughtful/logical reactions can
be difficult to start with, I am still learning that myself, however I think I
now understand the principal and will be able to see it a lot more in myself
than I did before and subsequently be able to have better relationships with
others as well as myself.
Ah so how are we all doing?
Got a bit deep there I know, I'm terribly sorry if you got bored but hey, you
made it to here, so can't have been too bad :) I hope my 3am ramble has given
you something to take away if not the fact that I can write more than 200 words
on a blog post!
I am going to focus on more
positives in the future and I am going to re-evaluate my goals, long term and
short term. I think you can expect a post on these in the next day or two but
for now.... I'm off to sleep!!
Goodnight lovelies! Stay
positive :) Xx